blank blank fullness: yoga

Thoughts, collated

by trulymadlydeeply On Thursday, August 14, 2014 2 comments

You know that untapped percentage of our brain? It's actually a treasure trove of eternal / timeless knowledge and wisdom, deep psychic abilities -- radio towers / signals with which to communicate without words; a dream-power so intense, it will actually project out into reality, as if a hologram took it to the next level and bound into atoms and solid matter. And the puny percent we do use? Well that's just a storage locker for new information, a small allowance to take in certain temporally-influenced, circumstantial realities. Trouble is, we're cramming that tiny locker with information, with reflections of reflections, distorting the original film, blocking the harmonic, universal rhythm, it's compressing in on itself, short-circuiting the whole system.

The huge trove? Picture this: a brain with only a tiny section lit up in colors, sparks, motion, commotion -- the rest is grey and dead-looking. That grey matter? the untapped, forgotten well-of-all we'll ever need? Fully equipped. It just needs a good dusting, to be plugged into a higher source. Tesla on to it, the capstone of Egypt? Check. Vedic scripts? Yip. All these under, above ground truths in myth.

____________

I saw God in a new way today. Well, not entirely new, but the rasa, the feeling, was newly nuanced.

God could be our best of friends, a well-wisher supreme, but we exclude Him from our lives. Like, how would you like it if the people you introduced and help get together just started hanging out without you, having tons of fun on your dime, on your resources and, let's say you're an inventor and artist, on the things you've built and designed? Would make you feel pretty annoyed huh? But if we were to include you? Guess what, you'd probably be super happy and want to share more of your discoveries, your personality, more of your light. Yea, God too.

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This life is actually a hologram of a higher reality. It's not that the invisible, higher platforms of thought, action and existence are manifestations beyond reality; it's that they are reality, and we are living a dream, and these days, an increasingly darkening dream. I find it painfully ironic that in order to maintain 'security' (ego security), police forces are using violence and causing harm. Oh how the natural order has been reversed.......

_____________

The Six Loving Exchanges:

Offering gifts in charity
Accepting charitable gifts
Revealing one's mind in confidence
Inquiring confidentially
Accepting prasada
Offering prasada

are the six symptoms of love shared by one devotee and another.

More of these, please. Always.

______________

Krishna's birthday is this weekend.

______________

What are we living for? What are you living for? Is it your family? You career? A good salary? Your community? Satan? God?

Which of these things echo into eternity and which, like the periodicals that land in the litter box, turn over and pass into history, forgotten and buried in the sands of time? How can we develop understanding of the former, and remain cognizant of the latter, checking the ego towards the pursuit of what is inherently beneficial instead of what twinkles and fades? To develop understanding of eternity... huh, from some little contact I've had with yoga, 13 years of my 28, (such a drop in the ocean) I've come to understand that being properly situated is half the battle. So many distractions today, I certainly get caught up, especially the political ones... Hmm, like father like daughter. And seek the balance in the spiritual... Hmm, mama I owe you. So, so many distractions. Seemingly benign. But our most precious resource, our consciousness is sapped... I find solace in the yoking of the two. It's not that we reject the world and its delights, it's that we include God in our pursuit of it all and fit that last puzzle piece into place; so that we can find some measure of completion while we still have time to breathe... With the right association and friendship, anything is possible.

Three of my favorites:

If one offers Me with love and devotion a leaf, a flower, a fruit or water, I will accept it

Whatever you do, whatever you eat, whatever you offer or give away, and whatever austerities you perform -- do that, O son of Kunti, as an offering to Me.

In this way you will be freed from bondage to work and its auspicious and inauspicious results. With your mind fixed on Me in this principle of renunciation, you will be liberated and come to Me.

It's nice to spend time with new people sometimes.

With the right consciousness (reality) we can transform our lives (dreams, they take shape and fade into the night with the dawning of death and a new life). It's just a little consciousness that needs a polishing. The lens of the heart needs some dusting. Prabhupada said that the heart is like a camera, it takes so many pictures, snapshots of memories; hurt, love, joy, pain, celebration, mourning; and they compress into the unconscious mind. These layers become so heavy, our wings fold down our backs and we forget how to fly on, float on the miracle of here, now, all together as soul. We need to clean that lens, the mirror of the heart to see clearly again. To see the true picture. Sound vibration. The most powerful energy there is to aid in this cleansing. Mantra. From man - Sanskrit for mind and tra- to cross over. Seed sounds which originate in another platform, the transcendental platform, of life and reality. When we utter them, from the heart, sincerely, listening with all of our ears, inner and outer, we begin to become transformed. Something softens. The layers caked onto the heart begin to dissolve from the powerful acid-like potency of nectar in sound. Every time, I shit you not, every time I'm mad or my mind is running a story, a cheap and ugly one, maybe, a junk-food thought, I chant and immediately it's pacified. The sensation increases hundred fold when in a group of people doing the same. We all might have different reasons or experiences, on different rungs of understanding and acceptance, of devotion and insight, but the brilliant thing is -- that heart is getting clean.

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There was a period of time when I was annoyed by "Waiting on the World to Change". I thought it was so defeatist. So weak and lame. I understood the general gist, but it felt impotent. It made me feel jipped. I didn't want to get messages telling me, subliminally, to give up, or worse, not even try. But then I realized tonight, it's really just the wheel of time turning, and when it's our turn, how are we going to handle reality, and temper the dream?

I really do believe it's our turn. So, are we going to act selfishly, or are we going to share resources, share our toys, playing with each other through the consciousness of the divine as our lens, inviting God to the party, working together with hostility a faded shell, buried in an ocean of grounded bliss.

bhakti, consciousness, GOD, krishna, rise, thoughts, world, yoga |

I Love Yogis

by trulymadlydeeply On Friday, February 07, 2014 0 comments

So, as if I needed one more project to occupy my time and mind and energy...

I've decided to run with and develop an idea which implanted itself at the end of last year (oh man, 2013 is last year, isn't it?).

The idea came out of the ether, where, of course, all ideas float and stalk, awaiting a perfectly idle yet engaged mind upon which to descend. I connected with this idea mostly because I love to interview people (read: get into their heads and feel out what makes em tick) and then share those findings, usually in totally disparate ways and places, like as an anecdote in a yoga class, or a totally vague and obtuse metaphor in a poem. Usually, I'm just having a conversation (secretly interviewing) and that conversation informs me about much more than that person; myself, society, life, that vibe/lexicon/tendency that no one consciously gets yet but is still happening right now. Natural born sociologist.

Any whooooo. I make you, dear reader, wait so long to find out what the F*Ck I'm ever actually talking about in these posts of mine. HAHA. HAHAHAHA.

It's this:

I LOVE YOGIS.

*shoutout to my sista-sista who used those photoshop skillz to help make this logo*

I'm on a quest to extract and expose the makings of a 'yoga teacher'. Whatever that 'is'. Whoever they are.

Inspired by the Proust Questionnaire. Tailored to the yogis out there, to inspire an understanding of yoga, in all its colors, shapes, and makings. Because, as you may or may not know, it's more than moving around on a plastic mat. And, I'd venture to say, yoga is our natural state, regardless of profession, occupation or beliefs.

Musicians losing themselves in their instruments, the sound. Yoga.
Improv performers responding so intensely that they can't even hear if the audience is laughing. Yoga.
Writers pouring out words to paint a story to move you and you and you and silently cheering and laughing and fist pumping to themselves because they're in the flow. Yoga.
Investment bankers manipulating stocks, wholeheartedly consumed. Iw. That's a kind of yoga, tainted, of course.

You get me.

I Love Yogis. World-wide. The panoply of styles and schools of thought.

Dig it here (tumblr). And here (facebook).

Maybe one day it will be a purty little book. With portraits of some of those teachers. Because I also love faces. And zooming in on them and painting them. But that's a whole other level of commitment/art. So for now, it's another blog in the sphere.

Hope you find something in there to connect to, to converse with, to inform your life.

Love,
A

i love yogis, interview, mogayoga, projects, yoga, yoga teachers |

Choosing a crazy hand

by trulymadlydeeply On Saturday, December 07, 2013 0 comments

I just finished watching Shane Salerno's documentary, Salinger. It has left me at once troubled, motivated and hopeful; hopeful that with the right blend of intention, immersion into his work, consistent, heart-sourced writing and those mystic siddhis that years of yoga practice have offered me, I might be able to communicate with him telepathically over time and space; much like he claims to have communicated with his first, ex-Nazi wife. That detail, the Nazi one, may not be so important – except that it highlights the marked, man-making trait of flat-out unwavering allegiance to not giving a F what people, what a misshapen and misguided society might believe to be right or wrong; an allegiance, moreover, to a transcendent code that, given some of his actions to the contrary, could only be truly understood and appreciated by a minority.

Indeed, his seeming contradictions are enough to set page-loads of questions after him, though departed he may be from this mortal coil. That's the part that troubled me: that the media, fans, writers, reporters, all felt the need to question him, to hound him with questions, nay – with insignificant questions. When faced with such a mind, a spirit, a being; if you're going to take the effort to go after him, wouldn't there at least be a "How's your heart?", "How's your life going?" rapport? Perhaps there had been, but as the documentary painted it, his enigma drew out the crazed and demanding vs. kindred seeking-souls. Though the truth is, the world we face (or would it be the world which faces us?) really is our mirror.

His contradictions were just indicators, signs pointing to some deeper truth, a bigger question begging to be asked, one I don't believe he pretended to have the answer to, but was at least astute and interested enough to uncover and present to the world for the unpacking. That is, "Don't you see what a waste this all is?" And then, “So, what’s golden?” What frustrated me some is that, instead of asking him about the root cause for and therefore, solution to, The Catcher in the Rye (which in truth, could only be Salinger’s own inner state), his hounds wanted to know what to do about their own lives, their own writing careers, how to manage their own frail and suspicious conceptions of self. This newly revealed conception of self and society, by the grace of Salinger’s cutting observation and commentary, caused many to lose their grip on life as they thought they’d known it, leaving newly disillusioned (some might even say awakened) souls foundering amidst and fighting against the foggy motives of a superficial, lie-filled world, just like Holden Caufield. But I do understand that to stand face-to-face with a writer, an artist, a being of incalculable depth and intelligence, one who has so suddenly invested you (and so many of your generation) with the utmost meaning, is debilitating on a critical, frontal-lobe-level.

This artistic process of projecting one’s psychology onto a character (or a work), sending it into the world to come head-to-head with similar experiences and perceptions contained in receivers, who in a moment of utter mercy and open-armed acceptance, look into that long-sought for mirror, reveals the essence of the primum, the primal, the original exchange. Therein, his occupation with Vedantic teachings doesn't surprise me in the least. Indeed, it reassures me that his talent wasn't a clever fluke, but instead a studied and soulful stream stemming from the artery of eternal knowledge, of timeless truth, of ecstatic bliss. And like many connected voices who, almost besides themselves, cannot but tap into the thoughtsphere to hungrily (even manically) draw out the marrow for the times, he had this higher understanding before he even knew what it was. Via his commitment to his craft, his dharma, he was led back to the spring, the fountainhead.

Which brings me to Roark. Howard Roark, Ayn Rand’s protagonist who refused to sell out. I couldn't help but marvel at and find joy in their parallels: the indefatigable commitment to the creative act as the path, the goal and the reward; the rigorous dedication, self-control, and determination to remain 100% integral, or at least the attempt to. Perhaps the figure falls somewhere at 98.6%. But could you ever measure integrity? Even those bold enough to strive for perfection, for total integrity in purpose and execution must realize the sheer madness, vanity and self-indulgence it requires, thereby nullifying any possible arrival at such an unwieldy apex. Yet most men (and women) of significance are fiercely uncompromising. And the best of them, a rare breed if there ever was, never have their own interests at the center of their integrity, have instead built a wall of growing greens around higher principles meant to serve a core of love, beneficial to all who come in contact with them, keepers of the most precious commodity. The warrior surely can be understood to be he who, despite his raging gift, chooses to remain unexploited, protected from the selfishly motivated (no doubt existing within himself as well) by a buffer of nature as they buy-in to what may appear to the uninitiated as strange ways.

Which is where Salinger’s contradiction came in. After sharing the most intimate parts of himself through his story telling, he turned around and held fast to his privacy; to his right to unequivocally own his life and mind and time. He insisted on being published in the most celebrated and widely respected journals. And when he got his praise, dancing with a world ready to throw their arms around him and toss him to the heights, he glimpsed a bigger picture, and backed out; recommitted himself to a deeper dedication, one detached from the rabid recognition that comes with great talent. Nevertheless, he allowed a select few to penetrate those walls. He exchanged countless letters with young women (girls, really). They kept him soft-hearted. I would imagine, connected to some sense of innocence and purity that only a war-torn soldier (aren't we all?) could seek with such fantasy-tinged desperation and consistent need as he.

Which leads me to his overriding need for absolute control. He was in love with a striking and intelligent girl. At the same time, he was let off the hook from military service, considered unfit. If that’s not some sense of fate, then I don’t know what is. I'm sure he saw the acceptance of this rejection as utterly fatalistic. Perhaps the real fate was, in all actuality, his self-created destiny, his obstinate, hard-working character (he was a Capricorn, after all). He insisted on going to war. He eventually got his wish, and lost his lover. What could compel such a hard-nosed insistence on calling the shots, on demanding another, what some may consider lesser, hand of cards? Was it inspiration he was seeking; knowing that through war and the head-on confrontation of death one is assuredly on the path to emerge on the other side? It’s a truly beautiful, if not awe-inspiring understanding of duality: to know that if you go so far in one direction, you will come out on the other end, moreover, having culled some hefty fodder (certainly the most precious of resources for artists) along the way.

A divine play, is it not? And oh, to live on that level of consciousness!

The thrilling thing about biographies for me, for most of us I'd imagine, is the opportunity to view a life in its entirety, to glean the bigger picture without being mired in a myopic scene or temporary drama as we may often find ourselves in our own daily lives. There's a free-handed ease in approaching the drawing out of another's life from start to finish. And with that comes a sense that I too, that we all, can take our lives into consideration on this scale and play out the stages with full-faith and commitment to a cause – should we be so lucky to grasp one as all-important, as transformative as JD Salinger had.

ART, consciousness, integrity, long read, review, salinger, shane salerno, the catcher in the rye, truth, understanding, vedanta, yoga |

You get the body you have based on your desires...

by trulymadlydeeply On Wednesday, February 20, 2013 0 comments

Here's an interesting video where Prabhupada explains how the soul is eternal and changes bodies over and over.

He explains what (forgotten) "human sense" actually is - to seek the eternal body which matches our eternal soul and to stop repeating our births in this material world.

The common thread of logic is that nature facilitates your desire: if you like to eat meat, you will get a tiger's body, if you always like to sleep, you will get a bear's body, if you like to expose yourself you will get a tree body etc etc.

How? Our consciousness is directly related to the physical world and the desires the soul is conditioned to take on leave marks and impressions which will carry forward (karma), inciting birth after birth, until they are extinguished or fulfilled. You can imagine that the storehouse of desires have the potential to be limitless, and that we've all gone through millions of births.

How can one extinguish these marks, burn the seed of samskara? To start: by purifying the mind and senses. Then it's key to understand the hierarchy of power -- in an empowered being, the intellect takes its cues from the soul which is in communication with the unchanging and omnipresent Supersoul (the all-knowing God aspect present in all living beings). From there, the intellect communicates to the mind which controls the senses to obey the higher purpose and desire. In our current age, Kali Yuga, the age of quarrel and hypocrisy, it's all (all is) upside-down. The senses are in control: they say, I want this xyz, so the mind believes, yes I need to have cake, sex, meat, pleasure, alcohol, fill in the blank, to be happy, and immediately calculates how to obtain material fulfillment (because as long as the senses are in control, it's a question of the material world) without pausing to question.

As a result, the intellect is blotted out and dragged down and the individual soul desires are conditioned to obey the senses and take on sense desires, engaging in an endless cycle of chasing fleeting pleasures.

However, we can flip the script and liberate the soul from slavery to the outside. We can learn to instead listen to and feed the soul-desires which are where true (not-bound-by time or scarcity) fulfillment rests. Once we can make the choices to engage our mind and senses to tune in, we will gain the irrevocable knowledge, wisdom and control to become detached, to no longer be dependent on the externals (which will change and decay) in finding and providing happiness and fulfillment.

Some daily activities suggested for regaining control and purifying the mind and heart (so they can tune-in/hear) are: chanting the maha mantra, eating purified food known as prasadam (karma-free food), and engaging the mind in reading and understanding the transcendental science. If you're into physical modes, hatha yoga (and the various styles kundalini, Bikram, vinyasa etc.) regulates and calms the nervous system and the mind and detoxifies the organs. This modality facilitates mind-body communication and creates space for self-reflection, making the smart choices easier to understand, identify and commit to.

Feel free to email any questions or submit them here.

bhakti yoga, desires, higher knowledge, kali yuga, liberation, prabhupada, self control, yoga |

Addressing "The Blessings of Atheism", or "The Curse of Willfull Ignorance"

by trulymadlydeeply On Sunday, January 06, 2013 0 comments

This article on "The Blessings of Atheism" from The New York Times' Sunday review opinions page, and the 'believers' therein addressed, are simply misplacing the role and existence of 'God'. Suffering (employed in this article to defeat the possibility of a loving God) is part of material, human life, and ignorance is attachment to the physical and material entity, namely, the body and mind, which are causing this suffering. This is not God being merciless, this is man being ignorant of our true nature (I am not the body, I am not the mind, I am something divine). Sentimentality is the cause of all this grief, which if one were rooted in true knowledge, would be able to transcend via the understanding that our purpose is not to control and enjoy for our selfish pleasure -- to be the masters of external nature -- but to submit, and serve the higher potency of God, therein becoming the masters of our internal animalistic propensities and receiving automatic benefit from 'watering the root'. I admit, it might seem extreme to be cold and indifferent to suffering and death, but one could argue that that's just viewing detachment in an extreme way, or, "it doesn't matter til it's you in the hot seat". What I'm arguing against, is the use of suffering and death -- inherent results of material existence -- as reasons to refute the existence of God when we have the chance to look as suffering and death as reasons to serve God and be delivered from the material world (while still inhabiting it!) by this service. This isn't about squaring off in 'the next world' by doing good here in this world, this is about doing good now as the means and the ends, not for the benefit of the human entity, but to give the goodness up to the all-pervading God entity which, when served, naturally controls our material ignorance, and liberates us, a kind of service which true religion promotes.

True empathy is serving the soul of man and not merely the body.

So maybe atheists are true believers with misplaced ends. That is, by merely engaging in charity and welfare service for the benefit of material man, we are missing the completion of the benefit chain. The big gap, the missing link that atheists circle around endlessly is that the common man we're lamenting over and giving charity to cannot make the most of this sort of goodness if he in a state of ignorance (which 99% of men/women are) regarding his true purpose (ignorantly serving body/senses/material reality instead of serving God) and his true Self (ignorantly identifying with his body and mind instead of endeavoring to realize the spirit soul, paramatma, that we are part and parcel of God). This does not mean give up your material duties and work to live in a cave, as the skeptical "yogis" out there love to say, or stop serving the 'materially-blinded common man'. This is about re-routing your service in the world to serve God directly, instead of your own limited material world of fleeting happiness, binding sense gratification, and misery-causing selfishness. And it is OVERWHELMINGLY possible for man to know if God exists. Man is just willfully ignorant in this endeavor, choosing instead to invest time and effort in sense pleasure and selfish materialistic life. There is plenty of scriptural guidance and transcendental scientific*** knowledge to satisfy even the most ignorant. Trouble is, one can't see what his eyes are not looking for.
For more information, start exploring Krishna consciousness.

***The definition of science:
1. The intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behavior of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment
2. A systematically organized body of knowledge on a particular subject

When your observation and experiment lead to a body of knowledge which understands that the material world is inherently a never-ending cycle of birth, old age, disease and death (a systematic understanding of the behavior of the physical and natural world ie material world) you might come to the stage when you ask yourself, “Is that is? What else is there?”. That’s when you might be lead to understand your nature as either a slave to the senses or a controller of the senses. Seeing as most of the world is under the bondage of the senses, setting that example for our eyes to see and minds to believe, it is hard to understand that it is possible to control them, transcend them, and come to the understanding that those senses were given to us to serve a higher good, a higher energy which (although apparently malefic if you identify with material misery, death and the like as proof that there is no God, see my argument above) if put at the center, will inherently take care of you. That’s the transcendence of it all, get over yourself, serve the source of all-that-is (which you first have to leave room for in your skeptically-conditioned mind), and use the benefit of that service to apply it to the darkness in the world. Experiment!!

If you're searching, don't stop there. Searching on its own is useless and any 'evidence' obtained from searching is merely speculation. Krishna consciousness gives you practical material answers and asks you to apply them in this life, for a better, higher life here and later (whether or not you want to believe in that 'later' part).

If this has piqued your interest and you're looking for some more answers and have more questions,
Here's a book that's a good start.

atheism, bhakti yoga, GOD, let's get really real, purpose of life, soul, yoga |

thoughts on spiritual materialism

by trulymadlydeeply On Friday, September 16, 2011 0 comments

It was just Fashion Week in New York and I had the opportunity to cover Vivienne Tam's presentation of her new "Fashion Yoga" line for the popular yoga blog, Yoga Dork. It would be like me to take something as benign and nice, nice as an outdoor yoga class presenting yoga clothes and turn it into a deep philosophical question on spirituality, consumerism, authenticity and the like. If you get to really know me, that could get annoying. Especially if you don't like thinking. In which case, it probably won't ever get to that point. But hey - I'm a Libra so, don't worry, I'm mindful of balance (hence get kooky and physically spontaneous).

You know -- what can I say, I go off the top of my mind...

Here's my review. Lots of questions come up and hopefully it gets you interested in looking at yourself and your own choices, whether or not they have anything to do with yoga or fashion (they do). I know I'm still thinking a lot about our present-day structure, it driving behavior and beliefs; how it's built on ideas of the past, adapting to needs of today, planning for an unknown, yet marginally projectable (not really a word) future; the mash ups of tech and spirit, body as our home and our home in this world. To paraphrase some wisdom from my morning session today at Kula Tribeca: "It's never going to be perfect, resolved; the ends will never tie up neatly. Never, ever, ever, ever. And thank God." But is that an excuse for laziness and irresponsible choices? ..... Nyet, Nu, Non, Nein, Não, Manan, Na, Iie. Guess it's got me thinking about honestly responsible choices too...

I also have to give credit to Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche for the term 'spiritual materialism' and my teacher David Micheal Hollander for introducing me to it. Here's the video of Chogyam speaking on the concept, worth watching all the way through:

From Wiki:

In Trungpa's presentation, spiritual materialism can fall into three categories — what he calls the three "Lords of Materialism" (Tibetan: lalo literally "barbarian") — in which a form of materialism is mistaken to bring long term happiness but instead only brings short term entertainment, followed by longer term suffering:

Physical materialism is the belief that possessions can bring release from suffering. In Trungpa's view, they may bring temporary happiness but then more suffering in the endless pursuit of creating one's environment to be just right. Or on another level it may cause a misuderstanding like, "I am rich because I have this or that" or "I am a teacher (or whatever) because I have a diploma (or whatever)."
Psychological materialism is the belief that a particular philosophy, belief system, or point of view will bring release from suffering. So seeking refuge by strongly identifying with a particular religion,^[5] philosophy, political party or viewpoint, for example, would be psychological materialism. From this the conventional usage of spiritual materialism arises, by identifying oneself as Buddhist or some other label, or by collecting initiations and spiritual accomplishments, one further constructs a solidified view of ego.^[2]
Spiritual materialism is the belief that a certain temporary state of mind is a refuge from suffering. An example would be using meditation practices to create a peaceful state of mind, or using drugs or alcohol to remain in a numbed out or a blissful state. According to Trungpa, these states are temporary and merely heighten the suffering when they cease. So attempting to maintain a particular emotional state of mind as a refuge from suffering, or constantly pursuing particular emotional states of mind like being in love, will actually lead to more long term suffering.

balance, fashion, sharpen your intellect, spiritual materialism, staying true, vivienne tam, yoga |

lēmniscātus

by trulymadlydeeply On Wednesday, July 13, 2011 3 comments

If I ever got a tattoo, which would be a really big thing for me to do, it would be the infinity loop
what a meta thing to choose
my whole qualm with tattooing myself is that I know, in my heart of hearts, I could not, would not, pledge allegiance to an image, idea or symbol for my whole life
there's just nothing out there that's that significant or important to me (right now)
everything changes and I've given my allegiance up to that
or maybe I just have issues with commitment...
anyway, I'm happy honoring the skin I've been given, au naturel, with a few scars from adventures gone awry, tattoo-like in their own right
age leaves its mark enough in time....
BUT, but -- in terms of linear beauty, simplicity and significance, $\infty$ , I've got you under my skin...

Source of this: some fellow yogis I follow on the internets and every now and then at their studio (hey Micheal, Tara) are consistently reinforcing the principle of working from inside, out
And as much as I agree with that, (when I close my eyes and turn inwards the pieces fall together and I'm comfortable, blissfully unconcerned with time's passing) I know the opposite is just as true
At any given moment, you're on the course of that infinity loop, whether it's taking inspiration from without and reflecting it inwards to make something of it in your own terms,
Seeing the shifts in your body, skin, outer radiance from well-massaged organs, nervous systems, and brain firings
Or crossing paths with a person, place, idea or object that's set to send you in a new direction, through a new feedback loop.
The question-answer of working from inside-out is presented as a concept, that is, an external entity one takes in to breakdown and assimilate. You're outside taking this inside-out in. Get that?
There's no one-way track (even time must be flexible on some planes) and the elegance of this is expressed in the constant motion, unbreakable conversion from end to end in infinity. On a molecular level, it's in our DNA, ever escalating into itself in our selves...

And if you've got some time to get lost in esoteric Wiki hopping, it's fascinating!

beyond, crossing over, decorative ribbons, feedback loops, infinity, meta-squared, ouroboros, ride the wave, tattoos, yoga |

Affirmative

by trulymadlydeeply On Monday, July 11, 2011 0 comments

I wrote this a while back on a sort-of off day and it really lifted me. Nothing quite like a pep talk with yourself when you've been too hard on yourself.
Remember it, the positivity and power you possess, on a day where maybe a friend or family member says some not-so-friendly things. Or someone you really like doesn't feel the same. Or you're just not going your own way... And remember, it's all part of the play.....

Affirmative
Work from abundance
When in doubt, act with confidence to tackle a task you have been putting off
Stop ruminating and start connecting the dots
Let it happen
Share your beauty
Believe in others' beauty, positivity and grace
Connect to the world around you moving on the street
Move around blockages towards what flows and makes you happy
Know that in time, you can reach a dream if you keep working, keep following positive connections, keep your sights set high. Don't settle! See stepping stones for what they are and don't stay stagnant for more than it takes to catch an energizing breath.
Keep your ambitions high but parse your goals in short-term doables
Visualize your ideal outcome and leave space for surprises. Invite them with your intention to help you with a bounty you could not have alone, then redistribute. Don't hold on to resources, share share share
Feel out when doing nothing is doing a lot!
Each stage, of the day, week, year and your life has value and importance. Address the relevance of your place along the timeline of your life and know the past is not a reliable comparative. Infact, nothing is. There is no comparing in your unfolding, there is only observing and reaping lessons.
Relish the changing face of your 20s what's to come in your 30s 40s 50s and beyond. Enjoy your age for what it is, don't rush to grow. You are changeless and yet continually evolving. Laugh with paradox, wink at the mirror, keep in touch.
When you're indecisive, plunge and commit. Own it. Stop thinking and feel your answer.
The harder it gets the harder you must be making it on yourself
Double up your will and throw your positivity bows with a glint of power

Affirmative affirmation, be positive, love life, rock on, self-respect, yoga, you rule |

Improv for Life - A Conversation with Kim Schultz

by trulymadlydeeply On Thursday, July 07, 2011 0 comments

A few weeks ago I signed up for two Life-Prov classes taught by actor, improv-lover & coach, corporate trainer, comic, writer and -- Reverend, Kim Schultz. At the time, I had no idea I'd signed up for all that. After the first class, nay -- during, I realized I'd received a dollop of pure, intense goodness I couldn't wait to savor in the coffee-cup of my world.

Life-Prov flexes, and in so doing, develops the muscles of your inspired self -- the one that lives, moves, feels, acts, responds, supports and chooses all at the same moment, from the same place, with sweeping confidence and intuition. It's exhilarating! For two hours you are totally present, in your body, saying YES, not looking back, not looking bad, committing and coming into your own through creative, energizing, empowering, and interactive exercises, games and drills. Kim has taken founding principles of improv and woven them into her classes. The result? You've connected to and have developed your inspired self -- you "get out of your own way, trust your gut, speak your truth, listen deeper and play more." And when you get back to your life, you're not the same. Your center of gravity has shifted and, undoubtedly, your world, relationships, and views have shifted too. Open sesame.

During the sessions, as we responded to exercises and shared our experiences amongst the group, I immediately recognized the intrinsic similarities to fundamental yogic principles. There is a profound territory in the venn diagram of improv and yoga and I am diving into the center crosshatching!

Dive in with us! Last week I met up with Kim to interview her and discuss more. Riding the wave of an inspired evening, I also brought along Deborah Pannell, a beloved friend and project-partner who happened to be with me, and is the primum movens of Kim's and my connection. She jumps into the convo every now and again.

I recorded our interview for your listening pleasure. Enjoy part 1 in our ___-part journey into inner and outer space. Live at thetopofmy[your]mind. Instinctual, expansive, and universal: letting the moment reveal the highest answer and outcome.

Unfortunately, the first half of our conversation was lost due to technical mishaps. So here, we're quite literally diving right in. It might get deep. But, trust me, getting wet is the only way you'll grow! And you know thisssssss!

Alexandra Moga Interviews Kim Schultz Part 1 by thetopofmymind

Join the conversation! How have you experienced an inspired life? How have yoga and/or improv changed your life? Leave comments and let the discussion continue.....

Kim Schultz Improv on Facebook

xxo

acting, alexandra moga interviews, improv, inspired living, Kim Schultz, relationships, speak your truth, thetopofyourmind, yoga |

Sitting with this

by trulymadlydeeply On Wednesday, June 22, 2011 0 comments

I amThat, yoga |

Yoga For Music Integration

by trulymadlydeeply On Wednesday, May 18, 2011 2 comments

So here we are, almost a month after the fact but hey, 'betta late than neva' (say it in a sassy, sultry Marlyn Monroe or Jessica Rabbit voice).

On 4/20/11 I led a yoga class over at the Morrison Hotel Gallery to benefit Guitars in the Classroom. As I work with young 5th graders, I've been brought closer to the exact reason why education has always been a critical issue at the forefront of my mind. I feel quite lucky to have received a terrific education, and I know a lot of it was due to the fact that, along the way, I've had a few stellar teachers who exposed me to new perspectives and frames of viewing the world at the right times in my growth. Anomalies, stand out human beings.

The 3rd grade teacher who took it upon herself to teach her students French- via children's songs- in an early-90's Astoria. The albino-haired 10th grade English teacher who so clearly didn't belong in suburban New Jersey (but DID belong at the school) -- dressed in Gucci, former lawyer, TERRIBLY intelligent and refined in the subjects he asked us to think about critically. The art history teacher who made you want to work so hard for her love. Because she made you love the subject so much.

Those kinds of teachers are there before you can choose the world for yourself, they open the doors to new places, and those kinds of characters inspire me, and all those they touch, to search deeper; revealing a few decadent crumbs along a trail to exhilarating discovery.

And they do this how? They become art themselves. They've touched that place inside themselves that then radiates the works and spirits, drives, emotions and creations, and they pass it on; the gatekeepers to our curiosity and capacity to live full lives through meaningful work, whatever that means to you.

To me it means passing on yoga and art to children when they're still fresh, but also beginning to feel the pressures of the world around them. The high expectations of tests. The struggling parents, the moves and losses of friendship, the latest Nicki Minaj, Rihanna, or Beyonce songs they will hum in class, while saying "I wanna be a fashion designer". Pop and locking, sliding in a funky grove with an "I'm going to be a lawyer". All while we figure out how to sound a Sanskrit word (s = sh), what values are and what they want theirs to be, locating spinning wheels of energy in their bodies that connect to love, or ego, or creativity, and how to hold their bodies to be more compassionate, less egotistical, more creative. How to enjoy the silence. They are 10 years old. And when they fight over mats I get to remind them about non-attachment. It's a trip! I digress, I also hope that these little seeds planted, make their lives a little bit richer. Like those farmer-teachers did for me...

I want to spread this kind of enrichment. Enable other teachers to take creativity into their own hands and then share it with their students directly, every day. Yes, kids, we have to learn about the rules of grammar, but what if we all got together for our lesson today and wrote a song about it? And then sung it together?! So I got together with Guitars in the Classroom. And took their teacher's workshop. And saw, experienced firsthand what this charity is doing. Am learning guitar so I can sing with my students! And I can only imagine the benefit to so many more children right here in New York City. Maybe ESL students in East Harlem who could really ease and enliven their learning of English with a song. Giving enrichment to schools that might be in trouble (seen Waiting for Superman?) , teachers getting some art in their own lives, learning how to play the guitar, maybe even holding a guitar for the first time. Democratizing the making of music so more of us can carry a tune in our hearts, a tune we helped create.

Taking the edge off city life.

Doesn't that sound amazing?

So we did some yoga at the beautiful, warm, good-vibe-filled Morrison Hotel Gallery Loft to raise some money. So that more schools, more students, more teachers in New York City can get this beautiful chance.

Looking forward to more....

photography by Tobias Batz

Learn more

Want to get involved? Know a school that could use GITC?

email : yogaforGITC [at] gmail [dot] com

ART, education, guitars in the classroom, morrison hotel gallery, photography, tobias batz, waiting for music, yoga, yoga at the loft |

Diary of a student

by trulymadlydeeply On Tuesday, May 17, 2011 0 comments

To be a good yoga teacher, you have to be a good person. Sure I could get by on what's been embedded in my mental and physical memory from years and years of practice. And what of the energy in my heart and mind, body when I approach these other beings. Am I thinking of something that was said last night, a drama that's ensued in some other part of time, or a not-so-distant future? Judging myself as I move and sound? Or totally taking care of you, teaching you how to do such, for the next hour and some? Sure, I could get comfortable reciting a script, following a formula, hardly deviating from the structure and flow of 'what works'. But then it becomes a job. And jobs lack value because they are founded solely on their financial worth. And this can apply to anything. Any field, any talent, any relationship, any art. The technical skills can override, replace the fun and in-the-moment inspiration necessary to supply the heart & soul of the whole operation. The tired, vulnerable human gives way to the efficient, technically perfect robot. And some days, it's just gotta be that way. But over time, like feeds like. The robot sucks away the potential for joy and now-won satisfaction, and the human becomes more tired, feels more vulnerable, less capable. Its spirit memory has been overrun by the repetitious hard memory, which in the meantime, has been, technically speaking, getting the job done So, what's in 'result'? How much does it cost you, and in what value system?

To be a good person, you have to make good choices; do the right thing, as it were. This is not so easy; even if you are 'technically' a good person. And here, I mean good as in maintaining, not replenishing and balancing (what the GOOD kind of good does). And I face the repercussions of falseness in waves, in my own mental, spiritual well being. Sure, physically I'm fit and I eat right but the roller coaster still kicks in every now and again, and happiness built on faulty grounds tumbles easily down. What's more, happiness built on love is a hell of a climb up a mountain.
And what if? Would the views not be majestic on the way there? Or would your eyes be closed, creating colors, passing through bodies at multiple rates at a time. Would you be doing it for the views, of them of you (looking back at you)? Or for the sweat, the burn and occasional vista of fresh air? Pointed one-focus eyes at the top? Perhaps you'd take a helicopter up there? Whaddha you got that I don't and how do I get that? Or better, are you levitating? Perhaps your eyes are down to the view below. Working out ways to make it better. You can't help it, it's your compassion. Or your know-it-all-ness. Where do we get that from any way? Ok now you're rambling. [editor's note: let's leave those last few out before publishing maybe?...]

The thing is, in this world we live in today, bad choices are front and center. Bad choices are in disguise. Bad choices are so easy and available. It's hard to really grasp the fact, make a difference, label your act as such, as bad, because 'bad' has underpinned established lines of thought, behavior and impulse. It is reflected in our establishments but it starts with individuals. It is reflected en masse and the trees cannot stand alone in a forest. [editor's note: You mean 'materially' bad?]

Bad has no immediate consequence. In fact, bad facilitates. Immensely. That which is, essentially, good, right, and healthy is inconvenient. Takes time, patience, and discipline, can't be bought or paid for (or it can but you're not getting the results, they are. You just get the product, instead of being the product.). Takes a trained eye, heart, and sense of self. A sense of self that has achieved a clear reflection through dedicated self-study. Who has time for self-study these days? And what do you mean, anyways? Well, many people are turning their lives over to it. But many more are consumed by the medias they consume. Are replacing their soul-searching and talent-developing with easy entertainments. What's more, the soul-searching and talent-developing is only a platform, not the end in and of itself.
Art is a wonderful, beautiful tool for understanding ourselves and the worlds we create and sustain but art and garbage are replacing each other, it could be argued. What is considered art by many may have started as such, in a room, in an energy-filled location on this planet, in an experience, an insight and revelation sourced in many people; synthesized by one person, they, dipping into the mysticism of a moment marked by informed webs, an ah-ha where a ready mind and heart can assimilate this collection of chance encounters, over-heard words, quotes, run-ins, fights, flights, causes and effects. Then: the creation creates, becomes whipped and spun into a product. God complex much? Unbeknownst, the spark of divine inspiration generates a new species: industry upon industry built to sustain and propagate something you can't touch, once so essential you used to be able to feel it in your heart when you just lived your own life. Yes! You're living your own life, ah there it is back again.
But we've overpopulated this place. And money is the new old chase. And nobody wants to live with guilt and judgement so we say "to each his own". How do we get to a place where truly good can emerge to lead with the same success as Lady Gaga (at this very moment in history). Who, by the way, has in a large way, managed to somewhat obliterate a noble thesis purely via the medium in which she's chosen to represent herself and those so-called humanitarian statements. Is she successful? How do we measure success today? And is that not helping our case? She may be supremely successful in her inner world, satisfied with the energy she emits, the relationships she forms, the objects she interacts with, and the energy of performing.) But where do action and result reflect? They never really could, correct? Cause is not effect. Effect is a new entity from equation, equanimity perhaps if you're lucky (a real man makes his own luck) [editor's note: Quoting Titanic again?].... Site hits. Video counts. In short, eyes. Attention. Bodies. The more of them you've got, the more your success to pass on your wiseness. Is that it now? But where? I ask, where are these bodies? Google will tell me. And moreover, what could turn them all on in an inherently beneficial way? What a question to be asking, you should be ashamed. Who are you, anyway?

Why are the polarities so distant? Why is material existence so gratifying and increasingly 'necessary'. We're building higher up thanks to it but why this rapture of it coming down?

SO? How do we get good?

Am I about to write (right) the craziest thing ever or will I let it pass into the ether and forget its own name?,
she says aloud
By golly I think that's how Shakespeare may have written so many wonderful plays.
Where's a a recorder it'd be so much easier if I could have a microphone and record it all. Oh dear I think I'm falling into the river. Ah yes here it is. Or will there be no battery left, for me, to get self-conscious instead of Self conscious? No -- it's out. Better to use your inside voice. Shall I pull out a piece of my hair from the side of this neat bun and accentuate the crazy? Staring into her own eyes as reflected on the screen she asks, "Why are you smiling? Conversations with God?" and blows smoke right in her own face. Pulling her hair out of the bun she lets a cascading darkness fall to the right side of her face, reflected left. "Let me turn up the volume," she then says, and, realizing the double entendre, switching on a dime, begins to shout, into a sung, "Ahhhhhhhhhh". Reaching for her phone, she recalls something she'd written and now wanted to share. Begins to type into the note's 'Find:' bar: No, ah yes,

Noted:
I am a hypocrite
I know very little, nearly nothing
I am naturally selfish and must muster up effort to be selfless
Unnatural effort causes me stress
I like making people feel good, but only when I know, when It makes me feel good in return
Dancing is most enjoyable, it makes me feel free
Feeling free is most important to me
People give me energy, I feel good around others
Being alone for too long, or in neutral/poor company makes me into a destructive monster
Having a secure, lavish, even, material foundation is important to me
But then again camping, 'roughing it', paring down existence draws my heart
Travel, freedom, these are luxuries I cannot relinquish
I become irritable, disgruntled, cynical once routine knocks
I was slightly spoiled as a child
Because I insisted on getting what I wanted
I only care what others think of me when I feel amazing
When I'm in a shitty mood the world could fuck itself because I don't give a damn about its opinion
I'm a know-it-all but, as I said, I know nearly nothing
Xenophile, through and through
I am still immoral, or I was, at least
Honesty is relative and truth takes a strength I can't insist upon past the present
My love of ____ ____ (blank blank) has been met with much resistance, by family and friends (they're stupid, I am stupider), by the ____ (blank) himself, and I beg for signs when I want to give up so I can be free somehow [editor's note: I know you're not, but you sound desperate here, maybe take it out? P.S. are you talking about God?]
And when proof emerges I want to prove it to everyone
But I'm alone in this love
And I hope I don't go crazy
Because I think it takes a crazy person to have taken it this far
I'm fucked up, it's fine
I'm intoxicating, like wine
My personalities are multiple, thank you, ear for accents
I am human and I have my limits, especially in the United States of America, where an expansive, connected sense of self has been replaced by Facebook-gawking. And isn't it ironic
I was abused as a child, can you tell? [editor's note: big deal who wasn't? look how much we're abusing the planet]
Ugh I hope not, what would the neighbors think? [editor's note: Mars has repeatedly sent us messages that they hate us, it's in the Roswell files but shh don't tell anyone I told you, OK?]
Tipping is a pet peeve, that is why I love France
I am pretentious, with things that matter (like my ideas of what 'matters')
Let's laugh at how fucked up we are as humanity [editor's note: I think you should tone the negativity down, I know you think you're being a realist but it's not very progressive and isn't that what you love touting? Ok fine, let's talk later, I know, you have a rebuttal]
Hahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck you! Who told you you could laugh?!
My love can't be bought. But my time can
Hmm. Fuck [editor's note: they're gonna want to edit the curses out, you know that right?]
Maybe I should sell some love and buy back the last 3 years [editor's note: Ok, well at least you offer some possible solutions. What if we changed 'the last 3 years' to 'the rest of my life'?]
I can be fake but I'll coat it with sarcasm to seem real. Wait, I'm confused

::::: D N R :::::

you gotta be fearless
can love save the world?

'who' is talking through me, don't edit but edit, some writing i just did, subversive? *does not register, take yourself down a peg to get a leg up, yoga |

blur the lines

by trulymadlydeeply On Saturday, May 14, 2011 5 comments

Hammock Enlightenment

the still place, what is love? value systems, yoga |

music is my soul, yoga is my heart, body is in service, bridging worlds apart

by trulymadlydeeply On Friday, March 11, 2011 0 comments

Twitter has slyly satisfied my writing in little bits, allowing me to give and release drops at a time while behind the dam a tidal wave was where I swam, awaiting the moment when, [Oh our dear Japan...]
Satisfaction in a wide worded composition, take your time to listen while letters repeat the silence half way towards sound
My writing has been employed under other capacities, with a more structured tone of late
Yes this too is great, it's all alright, it's ok
Notebooks I carry with me, notebooks behind my bed on the window ledge, books abound fill with an array of notes for work, notes for play-work, notes for good-work, notes for love-mind-body-work.
Insights and must-do's, he, she and they all too
Me-isms from a flash of the mass of places I've placed my head, attention fed, fed, fed
Drop the work as it may seem. Undo its seams stress the intenseness of absolute loss into a 'this' -- at once you'll leave and find yourself
And she comes up for air
taking gulps between a depth swallowing sorrow, and a surface returning tears on a steady stream of all-consuming I-don't-know-how-much-love-my-heart-can-hold this is it's beat: running over and down my cheeks; yes, it's free, free, free
Like a journalist chasing the next-best lead
Impressions picked up from agendas, stories told from the book of life with our talents pointing to Omega point procession adding layers of new repetitions
And a name lost in the aisles of history creeps into my 21st century screen to place into me here those timeless realities -- whilst lilies invisibly mark the air I breathe
And at once with that she's thrust back into her seat where slides slipped by a screen along a wooden-paneled wall with ceilings high enticing dreams; Paris, school-girl scenes
Close-ups remain imprinted upon the brain Campin's altarpiece his details all are she sees
Eerie coincidences cease not to paint her nearto folly of I-can't-believe
Which of course means that's what must be, it must be, there's no clearer way, it has but thrust it'self upon my head and shivers run throughout, felt to awaken even those proclaimd dead long ago without a doubt
In this sea of possibilities how does my free will dictate such impossible chance to let it be
this my dear, the magic dance, catch the reflection, glimpse the trance

BE LIVING, believing, impossible is nothing, on god and love, yoga |

Osho's 10 Commandments

by trulymadlydeeply On Thursday, January 20, 2011 6 comments

via Wiki:

In his early days as Acharya Rajneesh, a correspondent once asked Osho for his "Ten Commandments". In reply Osho noted that it was a difficult matter because he was against any kind of commandment but, "just for fun", set out the following;

“

Never obey anyone's command unless it is coming from within you also.
There is no God other than life itself.
Truth is within you, do not search for it elsewhere.
Love is prayer.
To become a nothingness is the door to truth. Nothingness itself is the means, the goal and attainment.
Life is now and here.
Live wakefully.
Do not swim – float.
Die each moment so that you can be new each moment.
Do not search. That which is, is. Stop and see.

”

He underlined numbers 3, 7, 9 and 10. The ideas expressed in these Commandments have remained constant leitmotifs in his movement.

yoga |

cover letter

by trulymadlydeeply On Thursday, January 20, 2011 0 comments

Hello,

I am a yoga teacher living in _____ and have been practicing for over ten years, having begun teaching last year. My goal as an instructor is to build strength while encouraging release and mindfulness of movement's power when coupled with awareness of the ceaseless breath. I once read a quote "The trust that others place in you is your grace". Before others can trust us, we must be able to trust ourselves, to establish an open relationship with the ebb and flow of life, having confidence in our ability to work with challenges and benefit from them. Trust is authentic awareness and its application to nurturing, progressive choices which encourage growth. Trust is letting go of preconceived ideas of an end, trust is allowing the moment to reveal grace. Already, as embodied yogis, dancers; movers and shakers, we've oriented our lives towards the health and happiness a solid connection with the body and mind can bring. And with this connection, we are sometimes granted that gift of transcendence, of grace in the trust of our choices at each moment. As teachers, we are so lucky to have the opportunity to share this self-trust with others. The students are a gift and their trust is our grace.

Much love,
Alexandra

uncovered, yoga |

Scare Yoga

by trulymadlydeeply On Tuesday, January 04, 2011 0 comments

At the end of a class today, while everyone was resting in their nice final relaxation corpse pose, their little cells running around to slow down and integrate what just happened, there came a slight noise from afar. A crash bang of sorts. Muffled and faraway though it was.

It set my mind off on a chain reaction; the shock of an unexpected noise to a freshly worked-out and now totally-relaxing person. And then I imagined what it would be like if I let out a blood curdling scream. Out of no where. While this room full of people were at complete, innocent rest. It took all I had not to burst out laughing. Not to snicker, even.

The little devil was dancing on my shoulder.

scaring life into people, yoga |

blank blank fullness

original poetry spirit soul yoga teacher artist seeking to elevate consciousness